Dating

The Debtors game.

Three down,
Presumably dead with dresses sprawled out around them,
Eight to go.
With skirts flapping wildly out around them.
We had casualties too.
Four down,
All of their weapons, thrown dramatically away from them,
Though our doctor was quickly gathering them up and whispering the magic words,
“Get up! I healed you!”
Four up,
Using the advantage of their flexible breeches and dodging like acrobats,
Five if you count me, in my turquoise frock.

“Which side are you on? You better choose quick or I’ll shoot you through the heart!”
I looked towards the boy next to me,
His gun was pointed towards my stomach,
But that didn’t make the threat any less real.
I must not have let the message get to my mind,
Because I had to repeat it to myself.
Eternal shame by my peers?
Or death by Nerf gun?
I chose shame, of course, what choice did he leave me?
I told him that and he handed me a gun,
I took it greedily, wanting to be one of the lucky ones to shoot down two.
I took aim, fired and hit my mark.
I moved on to the next target, calling myself “Sniper.”

I had used my credit card, and gone over the limit.
My imaginary life was spared.
But it was my turn now, to make him bow down.

Finally, I got the chance,
It happened when it was 20-19
This free throw would win the game for me.
The gym was quiet, the invisible crowed silent in the suspense.
I looked at him,
He knew I would make it, but he was ready for the rebound,
Arms out, knees bent, on his toes.
I thought for a moment, then threw the ball,
I didn’t bother disguising my on-purpose-miss,
I sent it far right.
He grabbed the rebound, shot and won the game.
When I congratulated him, he scowled,
Muttering I should have taken the shot.
I just smiled, knowing I had shoved him to the corner of debt.

Since time wouldn’t stop, we grew up.
Reality forcing our situations to turn serious.
At least, trying to.

After school I was ready for the ball game,
School spirit shirt on, my hair filled with our team colors,
But I forgot to ask my parents about the entry fee.
My hair colors would just have to wait.
Unless… No, I couldn’t. But…
Yeah, he had five dollars, and no, he didn’t want the change.
Of course.
I took the money and cheered numbly for my friends,
My thoughts fixed on paying him back, to even the score.
But he had thrust the turn into my hands,
Giving me a challenge to the death,
And I accepted.
But that was needless,
We had come to that agreement when he spared my imaginary life.

He got a girlfriend, I got a boy friend.
I’m sure his girlfriend was jealous.
I’m sure my boyfriend almost gave up on me.

This is the part where humanity couldn’t force us to mature.
On the top step I looked down the pipe at my target,
A marshmallow to the neck would end it.
Instead I hit his arm,
He grabbed  it with a yelp, turning to see the offender.
When he saw me he took quick aim and blew,
I dodged, the marshmallow grazing my braid.
I ran, shooting at him again on my way out.
I barely got away,
But not before replenishing his empty stock of marshmallows.

We continued like this,
Taking turns giving each other “the turn.”
“Humbling” ourselves far enough to give the other an “advantage.”

It became awkward,
People insisted we would be a good couple,
Us halfheartedly agreeing, but still disagreeing enough to refuse.
When he asked, I was shocked.
I thought he had understood that this wasn’t going to happen.
I asked him why, to which he replied “Why not?”
I didn’t know.
Until he followed it up with,
“Wait no, we must discuss this in the Fort of Towering Blankets,
At the triangular table with lady Marshmallow and sir Hoop.”
Then I decided it must be a yes,
Because, as it was evident,
No one else understood the necessity of bringing our problems before lord and lady Nerf.

 

None of this actually happened to me, it would be cool, but it is non-existent beyond this page and my imagination. If this has happened to you, that’s awesome. Enjoy!

My Mr. Right

My Mr. Right needs to be able to speak my body language. He needs to know that when I curl up I’m cold, and when l sigh very loud I’m aggravated, when l grunt/sigh and roll my eyes I’m saying “whatever”, when I give this little smile to elderly people and small kids I’m trying to tell them that I care about them even if I don’t know them.

He needs to realize that l don’t want him or someone else there when l want to talk privately with someone. He needs to know my fake laugh from my real laugh,  my fake cry from my real cry, that I don’t like it when people don’t listen to my ideas, and that I absolutely hate it when people say “blah, blah, blah” when I’m trying to tell them something. He needs to remember that I can’t handle breakfast-in-bed, I’d rather have it on the recliner. Also that I love watching movies and reading books, movies and books help calm me down, and so do mommy hugs.

He needs to keep in mind that I can’t stand high heels, or short skirts and short dresses, I probably wouldn’t even wear one to my wedding, that if he gets confused about me he should go to my mom and dad because they know most about me, and that I love my siblings more than all my friends, so calling one of them fat would be a horrible idea. He shouldn’t like something or someone just because I do, or protect me to an unreasonable length.  He should respect me and others no matter what age or height, he should give me space when I want to talk about girl things with a friend, and tell me that he loves me every day.

He should never take a joke too far with anyone, and he should absolutely never say I hate you to me or any of my family,  it won’t be pretty. He should never drink alcohol or do drugs. He needs to remember that I don’t like it when people curse. He needs  feel comfortable around my family and remember that not all my time will be spent with him, he shouldn’t treat me like a little girl, he needs to feel comfortable around me, like I’m one of his best friends. He needs to be honest with how I look even though he’s a boy, he needs to respect my hobbies and habits and should never make fun of me unless I know he’s just joking around. He needs to be able to read me, to speak my body language, and he absolutely positively has to love God. These are my hope and rules for my Mr. Right.